Online Dating Tips For Women
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The Importance and Limits of Honesty and Openness in Online Dating
When it comes to honesty, there is really no excuse for not offering that to your potential date or, ultimately, life partner. However, being open about everything regarding life and being honest about all you’ve done, feel, or believe does have limits when it comes to dating.
If you were a bit wild in your youth and that led to some embarrassing decisions that had to be made, is that something you really want to share with somebody before they get to know the real you? For example, let’s say a woman became pregnant in high school and ended up giving her child up for adoption. If a man asks that woman whether she has any children, what should her answer be?
If she clings to the philosophy that honesty is the best policy, she can certainly let him know what happened all those years ago. The problem is when someone is trying to learn about you, trying to get to understand the real you, these major life events can cloud perception moving forward. In this example, did getting pregnant as a teenager alter her life? Did giving up her child for adoption define who she is now? If it did, then it’s probably an important revelation to share early on in the potential relationship. If it’s not, then being too open can have a detrimental and negative impact on a potential new relationship.
It is absolutely essential for people to be completely honest about certain questions when learning about somebody you just met. That doesn’t mean that you need to share every little detail about your life with this new potential partner. If he asks you pointed questions, and it’s something you do not want to answer at this time, what can you do?
The best course of action is to be as honest as you can be without revealing anything you don’t wish to share. A simple answer to something of this nature might be, “That’s a little too personal at this juncture and I would ask that you respect my decision not to answer that at this time. I am more than willing to answer as we get to know each other a little better.”
Some people, both men and women, are a little too open about things that they did in the past or beliefs that they hold. There’s a time and a place for revealing. Set your limits when it comes to being open and honest but at the same time don’t lie. A lie will almost always come back to you in the end.
Oh’ and 10: What Mistakes You May be Making on First Dates
In the sporting world, and 0 (‘Oh’) and whatever record means that you’re not doing well. Do you feel like that when it comes to your dating life? If you can’t seem to find the right guy, but only discover that they’re not right on the first date, then you might be missing clues earlier or something’s amiss with your selection abilities.
This doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong, but let’s face it: when guy after guy after guy just isn’t making the cut, then it’s something on your end. This doesn’t mean you’re too picky or being unreasonable, but you’re agreeing to these first dates for a reason … you think there’s potential there. Then you learn that there isn’t and maybe there wasn’t all along.
So let’s investigate what mistakes you’re making on or before the first date.
Choosing a Guy Based on His Looks
Sure, guys do this all the time, rating women on how they look rather than what’s on the inside. So do women. However, if you’re looking for the hung with the smoldering eyes, sharp jawline and awesome pecs, you’re bound to find a strong sense of confidence in that man as well.
Confidence can lead to arrogance, or being shallow. Is that what you really want? Or do you want someone who is sensitive and kind and ready to hold the door for you? Deciding to go out on a date with a guy because of his appearance alone will leave the door wide open to possibilities.
Not Asking the Right Questions
Do you want a guy who can carry a solid conversation with you? Do you want someone intellectual? Just because this potential date works as a plumber doesn’t mean he’s not smart. However, does he have an interest in world politics, philosophy, or art? If that’s what you’re looking for and your date would rather shoot pool at the local bar on a Friday night, odds are that date isn’t going to go well for you.
Ask the right questions to learn more about this guy before agreeing to a first date. Online dating allows you the opportunity to get to know someone before that first date, if you allow it.
If your potential date answers in one word sentences, or seem elusive, then why bother? Is there really a mysterious playboy hidden there or just a guy who’s trying to avoid the tough questions?
When you begin to alter your filtering process, you’ll find more successful first dates are possible.
How to Calm Nerves on a First Date
Going on a first date is often a trying time. You want to not only look your best, but you want to impress. You spend hours getting ready, hemming and hawing about the right outfit, struggling to get your hair to be perfect, worried that your makeup isn’t quite right, and then when you’re running late, your nerves are raw.
So how can you calm your nerves on a first date so that you’re not only relaxed, but you provide a great first impression? Well, let’s first assume that this isn’t a blind date and that you know at least a little about each other when you made these plans. Second, let’s talk about the most common first date: the dinner date.
When you are planning on choosing the ideal first date location, you might want to be creative and unique, but dinner is still the most common choice for both men and women for their first dates. Choosing the right restaurant and venue can do wonders to settle any nerves.
Choose a Location that is Laid Back
While the nice, fancy French restaurant is a romantic choice, having your first date in one of these locations causes most women to be more nervous than they need to be. Are you dressed appropriately? Which fork should you use with the salad? Can you read the menu if it’s not in English?
Instead, stick with a location that is casual, laid back, and can give you the opportunity to lean back and just be yourself.
Avoid Places that are Loud
If you choose a laid back atmosphere, that doesn’t mean it has to be loud and obnoxious, like a sports bar and grill. If your date suggests this type of venue, it may give you an idea of what his preference is, but for a first date, not only will it tend to be loud and simplistic, it’s not the best location to get to know someone. Of course, playing pool or darts can be a great way to break the ice, and there are a number of locations to go after your dinner.
What to Avoid for Calming Nerves on a First Date
One thing that you should absolutely avoid doing on a first date to calm your nerves is drink too much. Limit yourself to one glass of wine or a beer for the evening. If you drink too much, your tongue could get a little too loose and you may let your normal behavior fall by the wayside.
The most effective way to calm your nerves, though, on a first date is to remember that he’s likely just as nervous as you, and take a few nice, long, deep breaths before he picks you up, or before getting out of your car. You’ll feel a lot better in the long run
Holding Back After a Great First Date
You had a great first date and you can’t wait to tell your best friend, your family, your sisters, your boss, and anyone else who is willing to listen. Heck, even during the day you’re thinking about all the people you’re going to tell about this great guy. When it comes to first dates, it’s a good idea to keep in mind that they are just that: first dates.
First dates are an important process in the dating world, but a great first date does not mean that you have found Mr. Right or that the second date is going to go just as well. This isn’t meant to depress you or shutter your positive feelings. It’s simply to remind you to keep the great first date in perspective.
How can you hold back the exuberance and giddiness that you may feel after a great first date? How can you keep that wonderful and amazing first date in perspective?
Write about the Date
Whether you keep a journal, diary, or other personal log of your life or not, you should write down everything you can remember about that first date when you get home from it. Do this before you call anybody. When you write down the details of a great first date, you allow yourself to process the evening, or afternoon if it happened to be that kind of a date, in a rational and thoughtful manner.
In most cases, your notes will be about as glowing and enamored of your first date as the thoughts racing through your mind. This is great. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. Now, once you’ve written down details about your first date, go ahead and call your best and tell her all about it.
Review What You Wrote the Next Day
Once you had a good night sleep, wake up refreshed and feeling great about everything, pick up your notes and read through them. Do they still seem to match up with what’s in your mind and your emotions? If so, then your first day really was as good as you felt it was.
Now, remember to not get carried away on the second date.
The importance of holding back on a great first date is the upcoming (hopefully) second date. When you have a great first date, you’ll already be thinking about what the next date will be and oftentimes your inhibitions will be lowered. Is this a good idea for you if you want to develop a solid long-term relationship with this guy? The answer will be up to you of course. As long as you hold back and keep your emotions in check after that great first date, whatever you decide moving forward will be the right decision.
Finding Out ‘Who’ He Really Is
Do you know who the guy you met online really is? When it comes to online dating, a person could theoretically be anybody they want. The guy who looks like a model could actually be a forty-something bald man with a beer belly the size of Rhode Island. While online dating sites have made great efforts to make it safe for men and women to meet online and ultimately go out on first dates, there are always going to be individuals who misrepresent themselves in their profiles.
This goes for women as well as men. However, as a woman, you want to protect yourself at all times and that includes the men you meet on online dating sites. So how can you find out if the man you’re having a conversation with is really the guy in the picture he has on his profile page? How do you know he’s not really married? How can you find out that he’s not an ex-convict with a record?
These questions are on the severe end of the spectrum, but they do happen from time to time. There are ways that women can protect themselves when going through the online dating process.
If you choose a reputable online dating service, they should offer options to conduct background checks as well as to verify that the man who set up the profile is actually the guy in the picture. If the guy you are interested in does not have this verification, you can request that he go through that step. He doesn’t want to or doesn’t want to spend the money, keep looking.
Ask if He Has a Social Media Profile
It seems that everyone today has a Facebook profile. If you have a social media profile, ask your potential date if he also has one. Ask him to add you. This doesn’t mean you are going to be friends, but this will give you an opportunity to see what his personality is like, the kind posts he puts up, the kind of friends he has, and so on.
Google Him
You can also Google search his name. If he isn’t willing to give you his full name as well as the city in which he lives, he may be hiding something. However, you may also wish to keep in mind that men also have to protect themselves when it comes to online dating. If you are interested in this guy for a first date, make sure you choose a public location and do not allow him to come and pick you up.
The more information you have about your potential first date, the safer you will be in the long run. Safety is the most important factor when dating.
Women: Do You Really Need To Get Remarried?
Let’s say that you’ve been in a marriage for a while and during your marriage, you had some ups and downs with your husband. As time progressed, the downs began to outnumber the ups and the two of you eventually ended up splitting up. After been married for some time, you’re back out on your own. Now that you’re single again, you ask yourself: is it a good idea for you to remarry?
Being in a marriage does have several benefits. One of the main benefits is that you will have someone to live with (ideally) whom you love and who loves you. This is one of the major goals of a happy marriage. You don’t have to worry about getting lonely. Also, sexual pleasure will be more readily available. Another benefit is the security you get when you have someone else to lean on if need be. It can be tough supporting yourself on your own. By having another person living with you, you can live more comfortably without having to worry about money as much.
Although marriage does have its perks, there are some downsides. One downside is that marriage is an all-or-nothing type of deal. If you aren’t satisfied with your marriage, then getting out of one isn’t as simple as “just breaking up.” You will have to deal with whoever you’re married to almost everyday, so if you don’t truly love them then marriage can become quite taxing.
If you’ve just gone through a divorce, you don’t necessarily need to get remarried. Sure, as you get older, you might be expected to remarry but you shouldn’t feel pressured to do so.
There are both positive and negative aspects of marriage. If you do end up going through a divorce or are currently divorced, you should consider whether or not you really want to be in a marriage at this point in your life. If you decide that marriage isn’t for you right now, that doesn’t mean that it will never be for you, you’re just not at that point in your life.
Does Age Really Matter?
Divorce signifies a major change in your romantic life. There’s no way around the fact that if you want to be in another relationship, you basically have to start from scratch. Sooner or later, the matter of your age will probably cross your mind. Does age really matter when it comes to finding another husband? If so, how much?
The answer to this question is a resounding “yes.” Your age definitely makes a difference when it comes to finding a new husband. If you’ve been married for a number of years, you’ll probably be worried that your age will make it more difficult to find another guy. Depending on your age, this may be true. Generally, older women will have a more difficult time finding a guy than younger women. Let’s face it: most men tend to go for younger women. That’s just the way our society works. Additionally, the older you are, the tougher it will be to find a husband because more and more of the men in your age range will already be married. In short, the pool of contestants will be smaller than that for a younger woman.
If you married a 24-year-old 5 years ago, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll end up with another man around that age. Then again, you probably wouldn’t want to anyways.
Ideally, you’d want to be with a man who possesses maturity on a level that is similar to your own. If you go for guys much younger that yourself, this isn’t likely to happen and your relationship will probably not develop into a marriage. Age does play a major factor in determining how easy of a time you’ll have finding another husband, but it’s not the only factor.
If you are a younger woman (for example, someone in their twenties) and you’re looking to remarry sometime, you shouldn’t have an extremely difficult time finding a guy. There will be countless guys out there for you, so your primary concern will be finding one who’s personally and lifestyle meshes well with your own.
5 Things to Look for When Meeting Men Online
When you meet men online, you’re going to come across a wide range of them, from the laid back, confident types to the arrogant, brash, and braggadocio, and then you might find the kind, sweet, shy types that tend to be left out in the dark. The most important thing to remember when you begin to meet men online is that you might have to sift through a ton to find a few worthy of a date (by your standards).
Meeting men online is quite different than meeting in person, but there are some similarities as well as cues that you can pick up on fairly quickly so that you don’t have to waste too much time muddling through the list.
1. Is His Picture Authentic?
Lots of people online are insecure about their pictures. Guys who have aged, are losing their hair, have put on a few pounds, and so on may use photos that are several years old. They also might use another person’s picture just to place on their profile page. In order to get past the potential pitfalls when it comes to that all-important picture, ask these simple questions:
Do you have other pictures of you? Is that really you? If you’re 40, why do you look 25 in that picture? (When this happens, the guy usually confesses to the age of the picture.
Now, as a last resort, you can tell him that when you meet in person, if those pictures aren’t current and his, you’ll just leave, no questions asked. Why waste time otherwise?
2. Personality
Many online dating sites provide questions and simple, multiple choice answers. Get beyond these. Ask your potential date to answer your questions with something personal. Check his answers against his profile and if they don’t match up, he’s trying to impress and not being honest.
3. A Complete Profile
Anybody (that includes you) who doesn’t take the time to complete their profile isn’t showing much respect to his or her dates. If the profile isn’t complete, he probably doesn’t complete much of anything.
4. Family Relationships
Your potential match should have a healthy and positive relationship with his family, but not clingy. Run the other way if he talks about his mother still making him dinner.
5. Proximity
Long distance relationships are tough. Yes, they’re possible, but the distance will put strain on any relationship, let alone a new, budding one. Focus on a reasonable distance and be patient. Give yourself the respect you deserve and you’ll find the right man in time.
5 Tips to Respond to Men Online
Wondering how to respond to men online? If yes, then worry no more! Here are some tips that will help you screen out Mr. Right online.
Often, the results you get on onlinecan make you jump with joy, but it’s important for you to screen out the perfect match before you go on an actual date.
Read His Profile Properly
Not every man who hits on you is the “One”. You need to give it a rest and take it slowly. Since you have signed up to an online dating service, you will definitely have men asking you out. But before you say ‘yes’, it’s important to browse his profile. This will give a preview about him. If you think he is what you are also looking for, then go ahead with your first date with him.
Don’t Respond to Men with No Profile Pictures
If you receive emails from men who have no profile pictures, then you can respond in two ways, either ask him to send you his picture or just simply say no! Remember, if he is has not put up his picture, it’s most likely that he is hiding his identity. Chances are he could be a player. So it’s best to say no to such men and look for honest ones.
Don’t Chase Men
Chasing men is the worst. It’s a turn off for them as they love women who play hard to get. If you send an email to a guy and he doesn’t reply back, then move on. This simply means that he is not interested in you. Emailing him time and again shows that you are desperate and men don’t like that.
Avoid Sharing Your Emotional Baggage
If you get on a good start with a man online and you are on a “get to know” level, this does not mean that he is interested in your personal problems. Online dating has helped men to filter out women with emotional baggage. If the man falls for you for real, then he will want to know about your worries, but don’t expect him to be understanding from the start. It takes time to understand the other person. So it’s best to avoid sharing your emotional baggage online with the man you haven’t even met in person.
Make Him Put in the Extra Effort
If he likes you and wants to get to know you more, he will make an extra effort. So, let him be the first to ask you on a date. This will make you feel nice about yourself and also it will show that he is interested in you.