Using a computer without an anti-virus is like living in a house with no locks – it is unsafe. If your computer does not have an anti-virus installed, before you start your online dating experience, it would be best to invest in a reputable anti-virus product. A good anti-virus software will protect your computer from all sorts of security threats including but not limited to virus attacks and spyware which could otherwise cripple your computer. In addition, you must also ensure your computer is protected by a firewall. Your firewall could be in the form of a hardware device or software and works by blocking remote access to your computer. In the absence of a firewall, malicious users may attempt to break into your system while you are online.

Every computer has a unique identifying IP address which allows it to exchange information with other computers over the internet. Unfortunately, it is fairly easy for hackers to identify your IP address and connect to your computer if you are not careful. If your computer is poorly protected, a smart hacker can easily access your computer and all the files you have saved on it making you an easy victim of identity theft.

The operating system you use on your computer must be regularly updated or your computer will not be equipped to handle the latest threats. For example, if you use a Windows Operating System, the updates are a way to protect your computer from any security loopholes that may have been discovered since you installed Windows. Set your computer to check for updates automatically, ensuring you are well protected. If your computer prompts you to install any updates, go ahead because your computer needs to keep up!

Is your computer connected to the internet via a wireless network? If yes, you need to be doubly sure you are well protected. Most Internet Service Providers will provide you with a secure wireless connection and a login and password only you are aware of. However, if you have set up your wireless network by yourself, you need to ensure it is 100% protected. An unprotected wireless network is an open invitation for others to not only use your internet services but also, once again give others easy remote access to your computer and everything you have saved on it.

The importance of good passwords cannot be stressed enough. Secure the administrator account on your PC with a strong password and ensure that all other user accounts on the computer also have passwords. If you need more help choosing a good password, read our Password Security Tips for some useful information.

A password-protected administrator account prevents potential intruders from accessing your computer Also if you do use a shared computer, a password-protected user account on your computer will ensure complete privacy and ensure others cannot access your files or your online dating account.

Most of these security measures are pretty basic and you do not need to be an IT genius to make these changes. However, if you are unsure about the level of your computer’s security go ahead and speak to someone who understands these things better. A secure computer is important, not just for online dating but for safe and secure web browsing in general.

Choosing a good password is essential. An easily compromised password could result in your account being hijacked and worse still; the hacker could use your details for ID theft as well. Take note of our Password Security tips to ensure you choose a good, well-thought-out password for your accounts.

Steer clear of passwords that follow the patterns mentioned above. In addition, follow some of these tips to choose a good password.

• Do not use the same password for every website. If one site is compromised, all your other accounts will be compromised as well.
• Make sure the passwords are different for your online dating account and your email account and both passwords should be equally strong.
• Do not use dictionary words as hackers will use electronic dictionaries to figure out passwords and they try every word until they get the right one.
• Create a password using a combination of alpha-numeric characters and make it something that the hacker cannot easily identify with your identity.
• Use both upper and lower case characters.
• Use the entire keyboard as patterns are much easier to figure out if you use just one section of the keyboard.
• Make your acronym. Think of a sentence that is easy to remember, such as “My mum is 52 years old” and your password could be “MMI52Y0” or any other variation that is easy for you to remember.
• Do not use a password that is mentioned as an example of a good password on websites/books.
• Use a password that is easy to type so that even if someone is looking over your shoulder, they cannot guess your password by simply looking at your keyboard.
• If you must write down your password, make sure you write your username and password in different places.

Tip: Never give out your password to anyone. There is no reason for anyone but you to know the password to your online dating account or email address. Scammers often use emotional blackmail to get their hands on your password, so don’t fall for it.

Last but not least; the most important thing to remember about passwords is that you must change them regularly for maximum security. Find more detailed information in the Security Guide written for Red Hat Linux.

• Microsoft Online Safety is a good place to check the strength of your password.
• The Pennsylvania Virtual Charter School gives detailed, step-by-step instructions on how to create a secure password.
• Article by Robert Graham on Dark Reading about the most commonly used passwords.
• Don’t trust yourself to choose a good password. Maybe try using a random password generator?
• There are several password management software available that will store all your passwords, credit card details, etc in one place. But again, tread with caution.

During the process, you will be interacting with several people and your email address will be your primary form of communication. It is a good idea to set up a brand new email address without using your real name so your identity is not easily identifiable by possible scammers on the website. This way if you ever want to stop communicating with someone online, they will not be able to harass you as your identity will remain a secret.

• The security of your email address is primarily dependent on the strength of your password so choose your password wisely. Read our Password Security Tips if you need help choosing a good password. Without adequate password protection, a scammer may even steal your email address and get access to other information you may have stored in your inbox. Another important tip to keep in mind is that you should probably have different passwords for your email address and your online dating account. In case one of the accounts is compromised, the other account will remain safe if it has a different password.

To ensure your inbox is well protected, most email providers like Hotmail or Yahoo! will ask you to choose one or two security questions when you set up your email address. These security questions are designed to help you reset your password if you should ever forget it. Common security questions include:

What is your pet’s name?

What is your date of birth?

What was the make of your first car?

What city were you born in?

What is your mother’s maiden name?

What are your children’s nicknames?

Who is your favorite author?

Best childhood friend?

Favorite teacher?

Favorite historical person?

Grandfather’s occupation?

Choose your security question…

Make yourself familiar with the security questions you attach to your email account. Obviously, like your password, your security question should be something you find easy to remember but others will have a hard time guessing. While the standard security questions are fairly straightforward, if someone knows you well enough, they may be able to guess the answers to your security questions as well. If a third person can figure out your security questions, they can not only reset your password but can also hijack your account. Additionally, this could also result in identity theft as the hacker could potentially gain access to a variety of personal information from your inbox. The best thing to do is choose your security question which should ideally be something only you would know the answer to, therefore making it hard for a hacker to hijack your account.

When creating your profile, it is important to keep certain security concerns in mind. Always be mindful of what your security questions are and be sure never to include that information in your profile. So, if your security question asks for your pet’s name, remember not to put your pet’s name in your dating profile for all to see – you will only be making it easier for the hacker. 

Everyone wants an eye-catching username, but exactly whose eye are you catching? A flirty username such as “sexykitten69” might only attract the attention of people looking for short-term relationships, just as “marry me” will attract those looking for long-term commitment. When choosing a username be aware of any loaded meanings it may have.

Also, you mustn’t divulge your real name (especially your last name) in your profile. Giving away your name on a public forum sets you up as an easy target for scams, ID theft, and other online fraud.

• As always, a good password is essential for your online dating account. A scammer should not be able to easily guess your password or they may even hijack your profile. Keep our Password Security Tips in mind and choose a password that is easy for you to remember yet hard for others to guess.

The importance of a good password cannot be stressed enough because a compromised account can not only put you at risk but can place your contacts at risk too. Very often scammers gain access to a person’s online dating account or even their Facebook account and take advantage of their friends by pretending to be the account holder. So a scammer could log into your account and get in touch with your friends on Facebook or even someone you’ve been interacting with on an online dating site and scam them off money. So the scammer (pretending to be you) gets in touch with your contacts and tells them you are stuck in some sort of emergency. Your friends are unlikely to realize it’s a scammer and in their attempt to help you, they will have been robbed of their money by a scammer. This sometimes happens with email accounts as well, so keep your details secure and use a strong password on all your accounts.

An online dating profile is designed for you to attract a potential partner. However, this does not mean you need to reveal your details on your profile. Most online dating services will probably disallow it anyway if you try to give away your contact details on your profile. But, you should not reveal other details like where you work or even what gym you go to on your profile. This information has the potential to be used against you.

In addition to keeping your details closely guarded, you should also review your profile for any other information that might reveal too many details. For example, don’t discuss your dog on your profile if your email security question is about your dog. Be sensible about the information you reveal on your profile.

Put some thought into your online dating profile because it is the first impression other singles on the site will have of you. However, at all times remember to keep your details secure. 

Keeping your details secret is vital because fraudsters can use even a little bit of information about you to their advantage. While it is common sense not to give out your password to anyone, many of us don’t think before answering other questions someone might ask us online. Be fully aware of what your security questions are and never divulge that information to anyone.

Scammers and hackers are becoming smarter and they often identify your security questions first following which they strike up a conversation with you online, gradually weaving in the security questions into a normal conversation. For example, your security question may be about the make of your first car. So a scammer might start a conversation about cars and even tell you about their first car in an attempt to get you to reveal the same information to them. , This seems harmless but once you have revealed this information, your email address is immediately compromised.

Keeping your email secure is not rocket science. Just remember not to divulge your details to anyone, however innocent the question may seem and you will have no trouble.

A reputable and reliable dating service will provide you with additional safety and security. Do your research and choose a dating service that not only meets your needs but provides you with a certain amount of peace of mind as well. If you need help, click here for advice on how to choose the right dating service for you.

Using online instant messaging services is the safest, easiest, and cheapest way to chat in real-time. Investing in a microphone and set of headphones for your computer will cost hardly anything and give you unlimited safe chat time!

Log onto Private Phone to get your very own disposable number. Sign up online select your private number by state (you can choose any state!) and record a voicemail greeting. When someone calls that number they’ll go directly to that voicemail, thinking they’ve reached your real phone. You will be alerted by an email or text message and can then access their voice message over the phone or the internet. Easy!

To return calls make sure the number on your real phone is blocked and avoid using your home phone.

• If possible begin with calls between cell phones as your home number can be used to find your home address. Of course, this will cost a little more but you can’t put a dollar value on safety! Alternatively block the caller ID on your landline.

Keep things interesting by using your cells to go on a phone date. Arrange to speak to each other from your favorite café, park, beach, etc. This will keep your conversations exciting and interesting while ensuring your safety.

Be highly suspicious if the other person can only talk at odd or specified hours, talks in hushed tones, or cuts conversations short by saying “Sorry, gotta go”. They may not be as single as you think.

Are you worried you’ll run out of things to talk about with your online dating partner? Scared about stuffing up the punch lines of your jokes? Grab a pen and paper and make a list of topics to discuss, jokes and anecdotes to share, songs to sing – whatever you want to bring up! Just remember to speak naturally; news reader impersonations aren’t cool for a first chat.

As in all online and offline communication don’t feel pressured into discussing something you’re not comfortable with. Write another list of any definite no-go topics of conversation and prepare avoidance excuses in case they pop up. For example, if you don’t want to discuss your salary have a written response prepared such as “I’d rather not discuss my salary but I can tell you about the best parts of my job if you like”.

Always smile when you answer the phone, your online dating partner will hear it in your voice!

It’s common sense. A married man will not put up his photo online obviously because he does not want to be recognized. Of course, they can always put up fake photos but they usually do not have a photo at all. In fact, as a general rule, it is best to be suspicious of profiles without photos. If you start interacting with someone who doesn’t have a photo online, request them to add a photo and let them know you prefer not to communicate with them unless they put up a photo. If they have nothing to hide, adding a profile photo should not be a problem at all.

• A married man is usually very cagey and does not like to reveal too many details about himself online. For example, he may refuse to divulge his last name and for many people, this is often a dead giveaway that the guy is married. While it is normal for people to hold back initially if the guy has something to hide, he will usually not reveal details about where he lives, what he does for a living, his family, his upbringing, etc., They don’t want you to have too much information so you can’t look them up and find out their marital status.

Most married men have a certain pattern they follow and if you watch closely enough you will notice that they are always online only at certain times or if they call you, they will only do so at certain times. This is obviously because they don’t want their partners to know they are talking on an online date. Very often, married men are online late at night while their wives are asleep. If they are online at odd hours, you should ask them why.

A single man will not have any restrictions on communicating with you however a married man will probably need to be more careful and therefore his responses to your emails, text messages, etc may be irregular and erratic. He is probably juggling family life, work, and other personal commitments along with his online life and has to schedule chatting with you based on the other not-so-secret parts of his life. His responses may be erratic because he tries to fit in a quick email amidst the other busy aspects of his day or as mentioned above, he might be very regular and follow a strict pattern so keep an eye out.

In addition to the above signs to look out for, if you chat with the guy on the phone there are some other phone habits that you might want to pay close attention to. Does his phone go to voicemail every time you call him? This is probably so he can call you back when it suits him. If he does answer, does he talk in hushed tones or hang up abruptly? Almost a dead giveaway is when he refuses to share his phone number with you even though he has yours and you have known each other for some time. Watch out for these signs.

Dating will be a whole new chapter in your life, but what happened in the last chapter? Have you just come out of a relationship? Being ‘on the rebound’ is an expression for entering potentially unsuitable new relationships after a break-up to fill a gap in our lives. While there isn’t anything wrong with getting back in the saddle, being aware of your motivations in using online dating services will increase your chances of safe, successful online dating.

So ask yourself whether you’re really looking for a long-term partner or just want someone to go to the movies with and know there’s nothing wrong with the latter. After all, online dating is the perfect way to meet someone to discuss the plot with and hopefully, they’ll explain what happened when you ducked out for more popcorn.

• How would you feel and react if someone you had met through an online dating service gave an in-depth account of their private life at the very beginning of your online dating communication? Would you feel pressured to respond with a similar account of your own life? How would you feel if someone you had met through online dating kept their profile visible on an online dating service after you had made some sort of commitment?Online dating is real dating and the associated risks to your emotional safety are also real. To ensure safe, successful online dating you must become familiar with your emotional responses and identify your emotional boundaries to protect yourself and your online dating partners from being hurt.

If something makes you feel uncomfortable, induces a sinking feeling in your stomach, or upsets you in any way then examine, recognize, and learn from that response; you’ve just found an emotional boundary! For example, if receiving lots of personal information from a dating partner makes you feel uncomfortable and pressured into sharing your information, you have identified an emotional boundary relating to personal information.

The next step is to define and discuss this boundary with your dating partner which isn’t as scary as it sounds. Defining and discussing the boundary is as simple as saying “I’m glad you’re happy to share that information with me but I’m not comfortable discussing my own life in detail just yet”. Next time you experience similar feelings you’ll know your emotional boundaries have been breached and you’ll be more confident in dealing with any such situations while you are online.

Remember that you can’t read someone’s facial expression or body language when they open your email or instant messages during dating. You might think a conversation is flowing along nicely without realizing the other person is feeling pressured into or uncomfortable about the discussion. A simple way to ensure your dating partner is comfortable in your conversation is to give them options.

If, for example, you’ve just shared a story about your relationship history, give them the option of not reciprocating by saying “So that’s my story but if you’re not comfortable sharing yours just yet that’s fine, I’ll understand.” One of the biggest dating no-no-nos is to use anything revealed to you, such as fears or insecurities, to pressure an online dating partner in any way. This is a major breach of our dating etiquette and is potentially devastating to your dating partner’s emotional safety.

Communicating through our dating services means we can’t rely on body language and vocal tones to gather information in our relationships. This difficulty can be exacerbated by typos, grammatical errors, and differing language abilities causing a simple email to become a minefield of misunderstanding.

When using our dating services you must realize there is a larger scope for miscommunication and misinterpretation than in the offline world. If you are offended by a comment it may be worth clarifying the author’s intent before taking it to heart. Likewise, be aware that you risk offending someone if your sarcastic remark comes across as genuine or if your comments clash with language barriers and constraints.

While online dating is generally a safe world of singles looking to find love, every once in a while one comes across slightly creepy individuals who resort to stalking (online and offline) and threaten victims with harassment.

Any unwanted attention from an individual or even a group is defined as stalking. Typically, stalking may include harassing and intimidating the victim and general obsessive behavior. Cases of stalking are rare in the world of online dating but before you arrange a meeting with an online date, make sure you know them well enough and read our tips for staying safe when meeting someone for the first time.

• There is no official definition of cyberstalking. When an individual or a group uses the internet and other electronic means to harass another individual, a group, or an organization, it is known as cyberstalking. Typical cyberstalking behavior may include monitoring, false accusations, cyberbullying, gathering information for harassment, threats, damaging data, equipment, and other sensitive information, ordering goods and services on behalf of the victim, and even claiming that the victim is harassing them. It is a type of mental assault on the victim that is premeditated and malicious with the sole purpose of distressing the victim.

Cyberstalking and physical stalking share several similarities.

• Most stalkers are known to their victims and most of the time ex-flames and former intimates become stalkers. However, this is not to say that strangers do not stalk. Examples of this have been found in the real and virtual world.
• The majority of cyberstalking victims are women and most stalkers are usually men.
• Offline and online, a stalker by nature feels a strong urge to control their victim.
• Victims experience the same amount of fear, desperation, and helplessness whether they are physically stalked or cyber stalked.

However, there are certain differences too. In the case of cyberstalking:

• The stalker and the victim need not necessarily be in the same geographical location as a cyber stalker can carry out their activities online no matter what part of the world they are in.
• One of the scariest aspects of cyberstalking is that a stalker can easily use electronic third parties to suit their purpose of harassing and threatening their victims. A stalker can therefore easily post misleading information on a forum about the victim or even falsely pose as the victim in a chat room. Sometimes a stalker even posts the victim’s personal information online. Unfortunately, it is easier for the stalker to create havoc in a victim’s life when stalking online.
• It is harder to confront a cyber stalker due to the barriers of electronic communication.

Online harassment and cyberstalking can be just as threatening as physical stalking. In the 1999 Report on Cyberstalking compiled by the US Department of Justice, Vice-President Al Gore said “Make no mistake: this kind of harassment can be as frightening and as real as being followed and watched in your neighborhood or your home.”

When dating online you will usually meet lots of nice people but every once in a while, there can be someone with the wrong intentions, such as cyberstalking. Therefore it is important to protect yourself and stay safe while you’re looking for a date online.

• Do not give out your contact details until you get to know someone well enough. If you’re using email to communicate with someone, make sure your email address does not give out your details. Knowing your phone number, where you live etc is a lot of information in a stalker’s hands.
• When creating your email address for online dating, don’t use your full name. There is no need to reveal your full name until you get to know someone better.
• Keep your guard up. Everyone is not out to get you but there’s no harm in just staying careful.
• Do not use your full name as your screen name or ID on online dating profiles or dating chat rooms.
• Until you know someone well enough, do not discuss too many personal details with them. A stalker uses personal details to threaten a victim.
• Try to use the chat, IM, and email services provided by the online dating site.
• Google yourself and make sure there is nothing out there that gives out too many details about you. This is also a good way of ensuring your name is not being used online without your knowledge.
• If you are breaking up with someone you met via online dating but no longer want to pursue the relationship, it may be wise to change all your passwords, secret questions, etc.

If you think you are being cyberstalked, don’t brush it off because it will not go away unless you make it go away.

• If you are being cyberstalked, at the first instance, try asking the harasser to stop or block all emails from them. In addition, alert the administration so he can be removed from the site.
• You can also contact the stalker’s Internet Service Provider (ISP) as most ISPs have clear policies prohibiting the abuse of their services. Identify the domain by taking a look at the email address. The name following the “@” sign is the domain name and you can use this as a starting point to file a complaint.

If it continues and you feel you are in danger, collect all the evidence you have and report the stalker to your local police.

Cyberstalking is a legally recognized crime in almost every country now and several countries have special laws for cyberstalking cases. However, even if your country does not have a special cyberstalking law, if you are a victim, you must contact the police immediately for help.

• US Info– The US currently has no federal law on the issue of cyberstalking. However, this article might be helpful. Several states, starting with California in 1999 have their cyberstalking legislation or have at least begun to address the issue. These include Florida, Alabama, Arizona, Connecticut, and New York among others.
• UK Info – Cyberstalking is classified as a criminal offense according to the Malicious Communications Act of 1998. 
• Australia Info – Using technology to harass someone is described as “criminal stalking” according to the Stalking Amendment Act (1999).